Happy midweek, my friends! If you’re new here, these “4 the Fam” emails are weekly encouragement where I offer 4 insights to help you with ideas to lead your family with presence & clarity.
They’re meant to be short, reflective, & actionable.
Your family is worth the work.
1 Principle
In early November I wrote about “Working IN the family vs. Working ON the family” — loosely based on a concept from the book The E-Myth.
Working IN = focused on the day-to-day operations
(e.g. the never-ending cycle of tasks: meals, messes, meltdowns, carpools, conflict, bedtime routines, repeating yourself 100 times before 7:30am.)
Working ON = focused on long-term direction, strategy, growth
(e.g. stepping back, thinking longer, designing rhythms, shaping culture, clarifying values, building systems.)
Of course, in any family, there’s a rhythm between the two.
But if we’re not mindful, most of us get caught up working IN the family — and we lose sight of what’s really going on, how we’re really doing, and where we’re really going.
This is why it’s vital to make the time to work ON your family. The beginning of the year is a perfect opportunity.
What could this look like for you this weekend? Some ideas:
Scheduling 30 mins with your spouse to assess how each of your kids may be doing, what they’re into lately, questions to ask them about their current interests or stressors
15 mins to come up with good questions to connect with your spouse
2 mins listening to the Holy Spirit about what is on God’s heart for your family right now
You make time for what is most important to you.
Have you made time lately to really work ON your family?
1 Practice
For this week’s 1 Practice, I’m going to ask you to do that third bullet point above — right now as you read these sentences...
Take 2 minutes to pause and ask God what’s on His heart for your family.
Who’s face is coming to mind first or most clearly?
What situation or relationship in that person’s life is coming to mind next?
What could God be saying to you about how you can serve or lead them?
1 Prompt
If your family continues exactly as it is today for the next five years, where will you end up? Does that destination excite you or worry you?
1 Passage
"For every house is built by someone, but the builder of all things is God." — Hebrews 3:4
Turn this into a prayer for your family leadership this week:
Father — you are the true Builder of all things, especially my family and the life we are leading. Help us to stop stressing over the small details today and trust Your bigger design for our family.
By the way…
If you think anything here would be helpful to talk through with your spouse (or you want to encourage a friend, family member, coworker) — please forward it along!
If you need help organizing some main areas of family life — please check out The 7-Day Family Reset!
It’s a free email course that walks you through simplifying 1 area of your family life each day for 1 week.
