Hi, friends! Thanks for making time to open this email. Read to the end for a special announcement about that thing I’ve been working on.
- jerv
“Everything rises and falls on leadership.” — John Maxwell
“But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” — Joshua 24:15
We are living through difficult times. And I’m continually finding it harder to think with clarity, to lead with vision, to love with the depth and courage I’ve been called to.
A question came to my mind the other day:
What can I do right now, in the spaces I’ve been given, to bring peace to a world that is hurting?
For each of us, answers to this question are vast and many.
And it seems like everyone is focused on taking down “the opposing side” lately — instead of focusing on building into what’s right in front of them.
As for me, I am actively choosing to love and lead my family as best as I can right now and to the end of time.
I am committed to bringing peace, healing, goodness, and direction to the lives of my wife and kids — and anyone that we may bump into in the real world out there.
Drifting vs Driving
For the majority of my life as a husband and dad and the leader of my family, I’ve felt too busy, stretched thin, reactive, distracted, and at times close to unraveling.
The thought of leading my family with vision and intention in the midst of the demands of daily life and career felt impossible. I also felt just downright unworthy at times.
Add the fact that the world is turbulent, demanding, and distracting…
and if we aren’t careful, our homes become just another place of noise instead of the safe and connected refuge God designed them to be.
The reality of family life in our world today is this: your family will not drift into health — it must be led there.
Why Family Leadership Matters More Than Ever
Joshua stood before the people of Israel in a time of great transition. Nations were shifting. Enemies were surrounding. Uncertainty was everywhere. The people caught up in the turbulence.
And he gave them this choice: “Choose this day whom you will serve. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
Joshua knew what every family leader must know: when the ground is shaking, what your family craves most is the type of leadership that can provide simple clarity, consistency, and connection.
Without leadership, families default to:
Worldly values: letting culture shape the family instead of truth.
Skewed vision: following the ever-changing tide of the political, societal, religious climate.
Reactive living: making decisions based primarily on the anxiety of the current moment and what others may think of them.
But with intentional presence, you really can shift your home from chaotic to connected, from distracted to present, from drifting to driving.
Step 1: Be Present.
Presence is the antidote to panic.
When your family sees your eyes, hears your calm voice, and senses your focsued attention, they experience safety.
How can you create a daily connection ritual today? (e.g. morning hug, dinner conversation, bedtime check-in).
Step 2: Bring Security.
Your steadiness is more important than your certainty.
Your family doesn’t need you to have all the answers — they need to know you’re anchored.
A lighthouse does not calm the storm or stop the waves — it’s job is to keep everyone oriented.
Stay calm and prayerful when uncertainty hits. “We’re okay. God is still in charge. We look to Him and we’ll face this together.”
Bonus: Keep weekly routines consistent — bedtime, mealtime, church and community, your mood.
Step 3: Establish Culture.
Culture is what you consistently celebrate and correct.
Your family life WILL take on a culture of its own. Who is the one creating and building it? You? Or the world?
Define 3 values you want for your family. Communicate, celebrate, and reinforce them consistently.
Step 4: Create Systems.
Systems help make space for what matters most. They don’t suffocate family life — they sustain it.
Identify any and all systems and rhythms — intentional or unintentional — your family is currently operating within.
What could you get rid of? What could you implement?
e.g. 2 weekly dinners at the table (connection), Sunday evening planning + prayer, chore charts or meal plans.
Presence Must Be Purposeful
…especially when leading a family.
You do not drift into health. Your family does not drift into connection.
You must create, communicate, and stay consistent with systems that will help you drive to the place you want to go.
Announcing my fun side project…
I’ve ended this newsletter several times “teasing” a new side project I’ve been working on. I’m happy to finally announce — it’s ready!
I created a short, simple, free email “course” called “The 7-Day Family Reset.” (Phase 1 of a bigger, long-term project…😉)
Over the course of a week, I help guide you through key areas of your family life — the calendar, relationships, finances, values and vision, etc.
So, if you have a family or hope to have one someday, and life just feels a touch chaotic, I hope you’ll consider signing up.
Just put your email into this link and forward this newsletter to your spouse and/or a friend.
(Even though you’re subscribed here already, you’ll still need to put your email in, so the system can send you through the 7 days.)
PS — I’ll be adding and testing a midweek newsletter here called “4 for the Family”, quick insights & ideas to empower your family leadership during the week.
Love to you all.
Tyler, Texas | November 1, 2025
PS - if this was in any way valuable to you, will you:
1) reply and let me know?
2) forward it to a friend who would be encouraged?