"Your happiness as a person is dependent on what you measure yourself against."
— Dr. Benjamin Hardy
"Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced."
— 1 Chronicles 16:12
The other day, I was looking through my Photos app searching for a specific picture from the fall of 2018.
I never found it — but I did end up lost in the albums from the past.
One of my kids walked in to the room and saw me sitting on my chair with a huge grin on my face while I stared at my phone.
“Show me what you’re laughing at!…Wait, are you crying or something?…Oh, it’s just old pictures of us?…”
I’m sure this happens to you often, too. You go looking for a specific photo and end up stuck on ones you snapped in a quick moment years ago and wonder “That season was so sweet. Where has all the time gone?”
I want to be transparent here — there are also moments I find myself thinking “I feel like I’m still stuck in some of those same patterns as that photo from years ago. I’m not where I thought I’d be by now…”
As a high-achiever type, I too often compare my current status in all areas of life to what I believe is the ideal version of me — instead of a previous version of me.
If you feel similar and you’re a reader, there’s a book I recommend called “The Gap and the Gain”.
It presents the mental shift that high achievers are often unhappy because they measure themselves against an unreachable "ideal" (the GAP) rather than looking back at how far they have come (the GAIN).
One underlying current of my thought life is “what do I need to do to progress, to grow, to get out of the level I’m in right now and onto the next one?…”
As a leader, this vision can be healthy.
As a human, if left unchecked, this nagging theme can cause the destruction of my general happiness.
In what areas of your life are you currently measuring yourself against an 'ideal' instead of a previous point or starting point?
The Lord has been quietly repeating the same two sentences to me the last couple of weeks.
“Look at how far you’ve come. Look at how far I’ve brought you.”
I believe He’s offering that same encouragement to you today.
I don’t know what your life looks and feels like compared to years ago. But no matter what, I hope there is gratitude found somewhere in the midst of it all.
With another year closing, I hope you can make the time and space to look through old photos, think about how sweet those seasons were, and to think about how sweet this season is now.
A practice for presence.
Would you consider going through a “Family Reset”?
Click this link to see the week-long email course I created a couple months ago!
It’s called “The 7-day Family Reset” and over the course of 1 week, you’ll be guided through organizing and simplifying key areas of your family life.
(Even though you’re subscribed here already, you’ll still need to put your email in, so the system can send you through the 7 days.)
By the way…
Thank you for subscribing to and reading my writings this year. This project and process has been healthy for me — and I hope they’ve been helpful to you.
I’m currently considering and praying through launching a couple more bigger-picture, bigger-effort side projects in 2026.
As someone with a lot of ideas (and a lot of kids and other people and things I lead), I’m praying through what the Lord wants me to pursue and work on in the coming year.
In a few days, Lace and I are taking the family to a conference at one of our camps in Columbus, TX for New Years!
We’ve NEVER (in 18 years here) been 100% campers at a Pine Cove event and can’t wait to be all in with each other there.
If you know me well, please pray I’m able to turn off my “camp brain” and be present with my family and not work hahahaha 🙃.
Love to you all. And Happy New Year! 🥳
Tyler, Texas | December 27, 2025
PS - if this was in any way valuable to you, will you:
1) reply and let me know?
2) forward it to a friend who would be encouraged?